If you’re reading this right now, I think it’s safe to say that you want to prioritize the people in your life and how you relate to them, and that you’re willing to be an active participating in cultivating healthy relationships that are engaged, evolving, and resilient.
Relationship Ecosystem Mapping (1).pdf
Humans are social creatures—we are meant to live, love, and laugh with other people. We are hardwired to create community, but if you’ve ever loved, disliked, or been bewildered by another human being, you know that if people came with a manual, things would probably be so. much. easier.
When we think about relationship as an exchange between two people, then the most I get is what you can give me, and all you get is what I can give you. In this traditional way of thinking about relationships, if there’s rupture or we’re not getting what we want it is easy to fall into blame.
Instead, try to think about a relationship as it’s own whole separate entity that you each bring things to, and you each receive from. This relationship is something that you co-create together. It has its own purpose, ‘rules’ of engagement or agreements, and it’s own qualities. This is true of all of our relationships, whether we have been intentional and conscious about this or not. In this way of thinking, we can see that if a relationship isn’t fulfilling its purpose, that we need to look at the overall design, rather than just pointing blame at one individual or another.
<aside> 📍 When you start to take a closer look at the intentional relationships in your life, you might start to notice the contrast of how many relationships might be circumstantial, transactional, or are rooted in proximity.
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<aside> 📍 When you think about defining the purpose and designing the relationships in your life, if you feel icky, try to remember that clear is kind. Creating intention while defining the purpose of the relationships in your life, helps to build healthy boundaries, habits, and communities. This process will help you maintain healthier relationships.
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Because this work is self-reflective—to help your thoughts, feelings, and expectations settle— this tool is here to help you shift how you show up, and what you seek from others. If and how you follow-up, is up to you.
You will evaluate the relationships that take up the most physical, energetic, and emotional space in our lives, and identify what feels crunchy (conflict, unmet needs, unspoken exceptions, disappointment, frustration), and what is fulfilling (easy, resourced, reciprocal, supportive, and safe). You will start to identify where you (might) need more relational support. Identifying which relationships might need a bit of a re-design on your end (how you show up, what you offer, what you expect, etc.), and noting if any may need a more intentional co-creative conversation together.
<aside> 📍 ** Everything you uncover has the ability to evolve and change, and to be honest, it should!!! New purposes will be defined, adding nuanced layers to your relationships. You might want to check back with this tool and update your map on an on-going basis.*
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